NEWS RELEASES
New Year’s resolution – make changes in your life
10th January 2007
FREE and confidential support and advice is available for friends and family members worried about someone else’s drinking or drug use.
For anyone who has not made any New Year resolutions so far, then now is a good time to make one to get support.
The Horsham Park Barn Drop-In, which is supported by West Sussex Primary Care Trust (PCT), West Sussex Drug and Alcohol Action Team and Horsham District Council, has been running for six months during which time it has helped numerous local people deal with concerns around a loved one’s drug or alcohol use.
Some of these issues are common to many people who find themselves in this sort of situation; they include feelings of isolation and despair, relationship difficulties, keeping safe and where to go for further help. Whatever the problem; for example, whether a parent is worried about a child’s cannabis experimentation; or a young person worried about their parent’s drug usage or concerns over an older relative’s drinking, then The Drop-In advisors can help.
The Drop-In continues in 2007 with new dates and new times for a new year.
Dr Farhang Tahzib, Joint Director of Public Health and Well-being for West Sussex PCT and West Sussex County Council, said:
"Living with or caring for someone with a substance misuse problem can be very stressful. People may become socially isolated or experience feelings of anxiety, frustration, guilt and embarrassment. This free drop-in service is an opportunity for friends and family of substance misusers to get support to help them cope with these difficult feelings and advice on overcoming the many difficulties associated with alcohol and drug use."
Cllr Vivien Lyth, Cabinet Member for Community Partnerships and Housing Services at Horsham District Council, said:
“I urge anyone seeking information or support in dealing with a family member’s drug or alcohol use to go along to the Park Barn Drop-In, which is a safe and supportive place where you will be listened to.
"Don’t try to deal with these issues in isolation and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Every family is unique. There are no right or wrong ways of dealing with drug and alcohol issues in a family but the advisors at the drop-in can help you to find solutions that work for you and your family.”
Park Barn is opposite The Capitol, behind New Park House in North Street, Horsham. It is close to Horsham train station and there is free parking after 5pm at the North Street Council offices car park.
The Drop-In is open on the 1st and 3rd Tuesday in the month, come along anytime between 5.30pm and 7pm.
The next dates are: 16 January and 6 and 20 February 2007.
There is no need to make an appointment but to speak to someone beforehand then feel free to call the service on 01243 382940.
Jacqui (not her real name) is one of the people who has used the Park Barn Drop-In for support. She has kindly agreed for her story to be told in the hope that it may help others who are unsure whether to seek help themselves.
CASE STUDY
Jacqui’s Story
“When my partner was wrestling with alcohol, he used to drink in secret - vodka mainly, buying it by the bottle or half bottle on his way to and from work.
He never admitted he had been drinking in spite of being found asleep on many occasions during daylight hours.
His pupils would be dilated, his breath filled the air with the tell-tale smell of alcohol that he exhaled as he slept. As a shift worker he could easily excuse his sleeping as tiredness due to early starts and late finishes, but I ‘knew’ what he had been doing although it was very hard to prove.
On many occasions I would shake his locked briefcase, listening for the sounds of liquid and feeling it for the shape of a bottle by squeezing my hand inside, as I could not unlock it! I would confront him with my suspicions when he awoke but he would deny he had been drinking and would then dispose of the bottles furtively, never in our dustbin!
It would worry me that he might be incapable of doing his job properly, maybe get caught under the influence at work. He was clearly drinking to ‘blot out’ something but would never discuss his problems with me.
I felt shut out and desperate – nothing I said or did seemed to make any difference. So I just had to get on with life, the kids, my job, the house – it felt like I was a single parent and there was ‘nobody there for me.’ I had no control over his spending so I felt quite insecure – if he lost his job, how would we cope?
I was working so hard to keep things as normal as possible for the kids. I realised it was important to protect them from the impact of what he was doing, yet I felt completely wrong about covering up for him. What I wanted more than anything else was greater openness and honesty!!
I became quite intense about honesty: hating myself for “enabling” him to maintain the façade of integrity whenever necessary but at the same time developing a hatred for my own lack of integrity as I covered up for him. Even the smallest of untruths became abhorrent to me, which was very hard on the kids.
I resented him for putting me in that situation, until one day, finally, I realised I had put myself there! I had made the choice to cover up for him, out of loyalty, to protect him from what others might think.
I became virtually a prisoner in my own home. It was easier than going out: that meant meeting people and risking conversations that might need to include untruths. If I didn’t go out, I couldn’t find myself in that position! It was sickening, I loved the company of other people as he wasn’t good company himself, but I couldn’t take the risk for fear of compromising my own integrity even further.
My life began to revolve around his secret and I hated myself for being the keeper of that secret.
It’s for this reason that I would encourage anyone who has feelings of isolation, despair or depression, as a result of someone else’s drink or drug habit, to contact Horsham’s Park Barn Drop-In for informal, completely confidential and free support.”
Ends
This news release has been issued by Horsham District Council and West Sussex Primary Care Trust.
CONTACT: Richard Morris, Communications Manager
Email: richard.morris@horsham.gov.uk